


Yamaguchi's Anxious Day

by daisysakura



Series: Comforting Yamaguchi [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Karasuno fights for its own, Self-Esteem Issues, Sugamama being awesome, Tsukki making things worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24128644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisysakura/pseuds/daisysakura
Summary: Yamaguchi's anxiety gets too loud in his head. His teammates help shut it up. Sugamama to the rescue while Tsukki does what he does best. Cause mayhem.
Series: Comforting Yamaguchi [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918363
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	Yamaguchi's Anxious Day

**Author's Note:**

> It's based on some stupid anxiety I experienced so here you go. Let me know what you think?

_Breathe in._  


_Breathe out._

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

Yamaguchi tries to focus on his breathing exercises but they don't seem to work today. There is so much going on right now; the loud noises, people shouting, sneakers running across the gym floor are overwhelming him. He can feel his hands shaking at his side, his mind telling him to get out - to leave and find a quiet place to calm down but he can't. He's about to play a practice game with his team.

He'd felt anxious that morning knowing they had to face Ogi Nishi High. Yamaguchi had heard they'd gotten stronger and was nervous about playing against them. After lunch, his anxiety completely took over and he wanted to do nothing but skip the practice game. Of course, he couldn't do that. Even if it was just a practice game, his team needed him there.

_Do they really?_

Yamaguchi shut his eyes. They did, right? Sure, he wasn't the greatest player on the team but...he offered something. Right?

_They really don't need you._

No, that's a lie. He's part of the team, a pinch server. He has a position because they need him and he obviously has something to offer. Yes, he's one of them no matter what his mind tells him.

As he helped the others get things ready for the match, he could feel his nerves trying to stir once more. He'd been practicing a lot but he wasn't that good. He still couldn't do more than cheer for the others. Who was he kidding, he wasn't a good player, he was nothing. Why did they bother keeping him around when he could make them lose?

_Pity._

Yamaguchi feels his chest tighten. No, the team didn't feel pity for him, they-they _wanted_ him on the team. Tsukishima wanted him on the team.

That's right, Yamaguchi knows at least Tsukishima wants him there. Unless... what if Tsukishima just wanted somebody he knew on the team? Okay, now he was just being stupid. Tsukishima wouldn't have stayed by his side this long just to avoid interacting with new people. At least, Yamaguchi doesn't think so.

He looks towards the door when Takeda announces the arrival of Ogi Nishi, the players making their way inside the gym. They look tense, even before Tanaka threatens them they already seem to not want to be there. He can see them looking around Karasuno's players, probably wanting to see the condition of his teammates.

"They look strong," One of them whispers to another as they pass by Yamaguchi to set their bags by the stage.

Yamaguchi sees the other player look over towards where he's currently picking up a ball, the teen offering the first year a smirk. "Not all of them, they have a weak link."

Yamaguchi feels his face go red at the insult. He quickly makes his way back towards his team, ignoring the laughter from the other players. It's ok, it's ok. That's just their opinion, it doesn't mean anything.

_It's not an opinion when it's fact._

No, no. He can do this. He's practiced a lot, he's a lot better than he was when he first started. He can be of help to his team. He can do this.

" _I can't do this!"_

He keeps shouting in his head as he walks over to his place in the court, ready to serve. His hands are trembling something awful, his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest and unto the cold gym floor.

He looks up to where the other team is watching him, waiting for his serve, and sees the two guys that laughed at him. They're sending taunting grins his way, silently laughing at him.

_They know you're weak._

His brain shuts down after that. Everything goes blank just as he reaches his spot. His body seems to move on its own, already knowing what it needs to do without being told. He tosses the ball into the air, moving to serve when it all comes rushing back. His doubts, his insecurities, his fear. His shame.

Yamaguchi steps off the ground just as everything hits and he loses his focus. He hits the ball too hard - it goes wild. If Coach Ukai hadn't been paying attention, the ball would have knocked Takeda's head clear off. Thankfully, the coach pulls the teacher away at the perfect moment.

"I-I'm sorry!" He shouts with his face as red as a tomato. He hears the other team snickering at his failure. His own team tells him it's ok and not to worry but he feels like crying. He let them down just like he knew he would. He reaches the side and offers his coach and Takeda a bow along with an apology. They both wave him off, telling him to forget it as they return their focus to the game.

"Yamaguchi, are you ok?" Suga asks with obvious concern lacing his voice.

The first year nods without looking up. He takes his spot behind the others, wanting nothing more than for the ground to open and swallow him up. He knew this would happen, he knew he would cost them a point. Why did he have to be such a mess?

He can feel Suga looking back at him but the third-year wisely doesn't try talking to him again. He'll probably want to talk to him in private after the game.

_Or he's mad at you._

Oh. Yeah, he might be mad at him. The whole team probably is. They tell him it's fine just to avoid any more embarrassment. They probably know he'd burst into tears if they called him out right then. They know he's a loser, they know he doesn't deserve his spot on their team. He's just holding them back.

_Useless._

Yamaguchi feels like he can't breathe. He can feel his mind cloud over as anxiety takes over. What if they kick him off the team? What if this was the last straw? What if they tell him to leave?

He can feel the tears begin to stream down his face, his chest aching with regret and fear. Everybody else is busy watching the game which has now become heated. Nobody is paying attention to the weak link of the team. He quietly but quickly makes his way back, then leaves the gym. He can't do this. He can't be part of an incredible team when there's nothing good about him. He doesn't deserve them. He doesn't deserve them and he knows it. His biggest fear is that they've finally realized it, too.

* * *

Tsukishima blocks another shot, earning his team one more point. He ignores Nishinoya's cheer, instead, he watches the gym's door close after Yamaguchi's abrupt departure. He knows something is wrong, his friend needs help but how to give it to him?

He could leave the game without a second thought but that would draw too much attention and everyone would know why once they realized Yamaguchi was missing. He knows his best friend well enough to know he won't appreciate that. He'd also get more upset for pulling Tsukishima from the game. Even if it's just a practice game, the younger teen will take it as a serious offense. Damn it, that leaves him with option three but he'll need Coach Ukai to call for a time-out.

Back in middle school, he had a couple of tricks he'd use when he wanted to skip or leave early from practice. He hadn't used them in a long time but he'll need to use it today. He looks at the two guys in front of him, the ones who had been laughing when Yamaguchi missed his serve. They're total imbeciles which makes them his new target. But first, Yamaguchi.

He times it perfectly. He jumps alongside Azumane and they manage to block once more, gaining another point. The second the ball goes back on the other side of the net, he braces for impact. He begins to bend his left ankle but makes sure to put most of his weight on his right side. He lets out a loud hiss once he lands back on the floor, putting his abysmal acting skills to use.

Coach Ukai calls for a time-out just as Tsukishima knew he would. The blond allows himself to be helped off the court by Sawamura and Tanaka, the latter asking if he's ok all the way to the bench. They sit him down so they can inspect his ankle but he's too busy trying to look for his vice-captain. Sugawara is by the others, looking on in worry for his teammate which almost makes him feel guilty.

The second they lock eyes, Tsukishima discreetly tilts his head back, knowing the grey-haired third-year will understand. He does. Sugawara looks back and immediately realizes they're missing a teammate. He looks around the gym and Tsukishima can see the exact moment his senpai understands Yamaguchi is not ok and probably needs help. Without waiting for the blond's confirmation, Sugawara quietly leaves the gym as well.

Once the door closes again, Tsukishima turns his attention back to his own problem. He tells them he's fine, he just slipped. Unfortunately, the coach wants to pull him out of the game as a precaution. That...he was not expecting. Damn.

"I'm sure he's fine, Coach Ukai. I'll keep an eye on him and pull him out if I notice any problem."

Tsukishima looks up at his captain once their coach reluctantly agrees to let him finish the game. Sawamura only smiles in return, the blond knowing the older teen knows exactly what happened. Hm, guess that means he can't use his tricks even if he wanted to.

* * *

" _How did I not notice him leave? What kind of senpai am I?"_

Suga chastises himself as he looks for his missing kohai. He'd known Yamaguchi was embarrassed, maybe a little more anxious than usual but he hadn't realized just how much after the missed serve. He hadn't missed how the laughter from the opposing team had made the younger teen slouch into himself so Suga had planned to talk to him after the game in private. He knew talking to Yamaguchi in front of everyone would only embarrass him more and cause him to shut everyone out.

He follows the sound of soft crying towards the back of the gym, his worry increasing with each step. Suga feels his heart shatter into pieces at the sight of Yamaguchi crouched into himself, his hands covering his ears as if trying to block out the sounds coming from the gym. Suga is close enough to hear the sobs and the soft apologies coming from the teen.

He doesn't want to scare Yamaguchi so he begins to call out to him from afar. He knows Yamaguchi hears him when the teen's whole body stiffens; his arms slowly coming down. Suga slowly takes a seat on the ground next to Yamaguchi but doesn't say anything at first. He can see the younger teen is trying to sort himself out or at least, calm down enough to face his senior.

"I-I'm ok,"

Suga doesn't laugh, neither does he sigh which would imply frustration on his part. Instead, he looks at Yamaguchi and gives him a small smile. "Ok, I'm just here in case you need me."

Some more sobbing. "W-why? It's just m-me, I'm nobody spe-special."

That's when Suga realizes it's not just the missing serve that has his kohai in tears. This is more than a lost a point, his junior looks overwhelmed and full of anxiety. Full of self-hatred. He's been there before, he knows how that feels.

"Who told you that?"

Yamaguchi doesn't seem to expect that question and looks up in confusion. "Wh-what?"

"Who told you that you weren't anybody special?"

The younger teen looks away, obviously trying to think of an answer. "People, old classmates, friends."

" _What kind of shitty friends told you that?"_ Suga huffs internally. " _Real friends will always see what makes you special, if they didn't see that then they were stupid."_

He doesn't say that out loud. Instead, he says, "Hm, that's a shame, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

Suga shrugs. "It's a shame they couldn't see what I see when I look at you. If they had looked a little closer, they wouldn't have said that."

"But there's nothing to see, senpai. I'm-I'm nothing. I'm too shy and awkward to be of any use to anybody, I'm a terrible volleyball player, I cry when things become too much, and-and I don't even know what I'm still doing here."

That last statement sends a wave of panic through Suga, which Yamaguchi clearly sees because the teen looks horrified. "I-I didn't me-mean it like that! I meant here, playing volleyball when I obviously don't have any talent for it. I'm just holding the team back."

Suga begins to breathe again, not realizing how terrifying a few words could be. Once his mini heart attack settles, he leans back against the wall of the gym as he thinks of what to say. He knows he needs to be honest but if he's _too_ honest then Yamaguchi won't believe him. Unfortunately, the teen's self-confidence is close to none so that makes this a little more difficult.

"I think one of the things that makes you special is that even though you're shy you still go out of your way to help others. We all know you're the first to help Kyoko and Hitoka set things up, you're the first to assist your teammates with practice, and you're always available to assist your classmates even when you clearly don't have time to spare."

Yamaguchi's face goes red. Suga knows the teen doesn't see himself as his friends do. Maybe they should take the time to remind him every now and then.

"You may not be the best volleyball player right now but you're trying. We all started where you did, as inexperienced kids wanting to learn volleyball. We can't all be prodigies like Kageyama but even he needs practice. We're not perfect, Yamaguchi, you know that. You've seen us miss serves, you've seen us hit one another as well. We're nothing close to perfect but that's why we have one another. We're a team made up of imperfect guys trying to become the best we can while enjoying a good game of volleyball."

"I still cry a lot," Yamaguchi adds with a small pout and it takes all his strength not to smile at the adorableness of his kohai.

"That's because you have a good heart, a caring heart. Yamaguchi, there's nothing wrong with letting yourself feel and expressing said feelings. That just makes it easier for us to love you."

That...slipped out by total accident. Suga shuts his eyes in frustration. He did love Yamaguchi, the whole team did, but he knows the first-year has trouble accepting their friendship, let alone any deeper affection.

"But...I'm just me,"

Suga looks back at Yamaguchi who is now crimson. "Yup, we know. You're our teammate, Yamaguchi, but you're also our friend. We accept each other just as we are and help one another grow. So you messed up a serve, at least you didn't hit anyone, right?" He asks with his award-winning smile. As dubbed by his team.

After a couple of minutes, Yamaguchi wipes his eyes, the tension around his shoulders having eased little by little. "Sugawara-senpai, thank you so much for your help. I-I feel much better now."

Suga nods, "You're welcome. Do you feel fine enough to go back inside? If you don't we can wait here until it finishes,"

"No, I'm ok," Yamaguchi answers with a new resolve. "I'm ready."

Suga smiles brightly. "That's the spirit! Come on, let's go teach those jerks a lesson for thinking they can mess with one of us."

They reach the gym's entrance, stopping at the loud commotion from inside.

"I said, knock it off!"

Suga opens the door as quickly as he can and stops at the sight that greets him. It's total chaos. Ogi Nishi has two players down on the floor, both sporting bloody noses, their teammates shouting at Karasuno for some reason. Sawamura, Ennoshita, and Azumane are holding back Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Hinata from charging against the opposing team. Coach and Takeda are trying to calm everyone down while Kageyama looks confused, and Tsukishima...well, he looks pleased.

"What is going on here?" Suga shouts over the pandemonium. His team all freeze, the first and second years looking at him in fear.

"Oh, shit, mom's here," Hinata squeaks.

Suga glares at him, his eyes promising a long talk later. How dare he use that kind of language? Eventually, after a lot of apologizing from the coaches, Ogi Nishi leaves. Any future practices more than likely leaving with them. Coach Ukai has the team run laps around the school until he thinks they've learned their lesson then makes sure they leave the gym spotless. There's a promise of intense training before he leaves the teens alone.

"Somebody better tell me what happened, and I mean now."

Sawamura sighs, sending a few glares at the troublemakers. "Tsukishima kept provoking the other team, you know how he gets."

"But they started it, Captain Sawamura! I could hear them making fun of Yamaguchi and they wouldn't stop." Hinata adds with clenched fists.

"Then, Tsukishima decides to show off his skills and hits the ball at one of the idiots right in his face! Then, it bounced to the other guy! It was so cool!" Nishinoya exclaims from where he's jumping up and down behind Tsukishima. The blond obviously looking exasperated.

"The players insisted he'd done it on purpose and started calling us names. They were bad names, Suga. Of course, these three wouldn't let that slide." Asahi explains nervously.

"Damn straight we weren't going to let it slide! Those pieces of shit thought they could get away with hurting one of our own then calling us cheats? Pft! They're lucky Ennoshita held me back. But next time I see them I'll make sure to-"

"Alright, alright. I get it." Suga shakes his head but then smiles back at Yamaguchi. The younger teen is looking up at Tsukishima with complete adoration and gratitude. The blond looks uncomfortable. "I guess they had it coming but next time, don't be stupid! You take them down when there aren't any adults around and make sure they understand never to mess with us again!"

"Uh, Suga, that's not what you're supposed to say," Sawamura says hesitantly, his arms raised in defense.

"Then, what will you have me say, Daichi? They messed with my kohai, nobody messes with my kohais." He almost growls with his hands firmly on his hips.

Sawamura sweatdrops. "Right, never mind. Forget I said anything."

Once the gym's been double-checked for any speck of dust, everyone heads out. Hinata invites Yamaguchi for ice cream and they all end up going. Together. Just as they reach the store, Yamaguchi looks back to Suga and gives him a big smile before mouthing, _"Thank you,"_

Sawamura gives the grey-haired teen a side hug. "Is Yamaguchi ok?"

"Yup, and before you ask, so am I. Thanks for covering for us during the game,"

"Anytime, Koshi,"

* * *

Looking at his teammates, Yamaguchi can see what Sugawara was talking about. They're here for him, to show him he isn't alone and Yamaguchi has never felt as loved as he does right now. His anxiety is wrong. He _is_ special. He _is_ loved. Yamaguchi has friends who care for him. The next time he feels doubt, he'll think back to this moment and tell his anxiety to shut up. Yeah, that sounds perfect.

He feels somebody bump into his shoulder, "Yamaguchi, shut up. You're thinking too hard,"

Yamaguchi smiles. "Sorry, Tsukki."[](https://m.fanfiction.net/m/review.php?storyid=13581372&chapter=1&storytextid=54027890)

[](https://m.fanfiction.net/tos/)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little piece. Let me know if you'd like more. Thank you!


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